Everything is Wonderful Now
by Adair Coffin
Summary: Post Ep- Blind Spot. When Eames is forced to spend a few days in Goren's apartment after leaving the hospital, she finds exorcising her demons is not as easy as she hoped. Neither are Goren's for that matter. BA undertones.
1. Chapter 1

Everything is Wonderful Now

Hello, All. This is a longer fic, with a good number of chapters. It is a post ep for Blind Spot, and an idea that I've written about, and erased, and written up again. Please let me know what you think, and as always, be honest if you think the direction is the right one, or if you think it's so out of character, I must be writing for another show.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They belong (I figure) to Dick Wolf, NBC productions, etc. I have no intention of making money or profit from them. Just my own shameful glee.

Thanks to all who read and respond- as always, constructive criticism is always welcome, and praise fluffs the feathers.

Thanks,

Adair.

* * *

Alex Eames looked up from her overnight bag to see her partner in the doorway of her hospital room.

"What are you doing... my sister's supposed to be coming."

Robert Goren took that as an invitation to come in, holding up his cell phone. "Your father called me."

She didn't want to hear what was coming next. "Great. Guy cop to Guy cop. What did he say?"

"He said you needed a ride and a place to stay."

"There is nothing wrong with me. I'm fine." She held out her arms. "See, perfectly fine."

"Yeah, well, you can't go back to your house, yet. When we came in, we, um..."

"Came in like gangbusters", she finished for him. "So I can't stay at my sisters?" She had been looking forward to a few days with her nephew and nieces, at least trying to expel some of the maternal instinct that was usually wasted on the grown man standing in front of her.

"Your father suggested that you... stay with me-" He watched her roll her eyes "- just until the door gets fixed, and everything gets cleaned up. He figured it would be easier. Just a few days, at most."

"And you agreed to this? God, Bobby, does my father even know that you only have one bedroom?"

He blushed involuntarily. "Your dad's kind of scary, Eames. What was I supposed to say?"

She studied him for a moment, tried to find a way out of this. He looked like one of her shell shocked high school dates, and for a moment, she had just a twinge of sympathy for him. She guessed her father hadn't given him much of a say, and she was sure that even if he had, her partner would have never said no after all that had transpired in the past few days.

"Fine", she said resignedly. "If that's what you all want, well, fine, who am I to argue?"

She brushed past him. He grabbed her bag, and followed her out.

* * *

She sat in the car in silence as he drove to his apartment.

"I can make dinner", he suggested. "Whatever you want- within reason, of course. Or I can call for takeout."

She looked over at him, then back out the window. He sighed, giving up for the moment, and cursing the impulse that had caused him to take the phonecall from Bill Eames.

"_Son_", he had said to Goren. Not even a hello. "_You need to do me a favor. Look, cop to cop_ (Eames had been right about him using the buddy cop card) _"If this had happened to your little girl, you'd be pissed as hell. In fact, I think you're pissed as hell anyway. And before you start in on some self incriminating bullshit, you caught the psycho who did this to her. This is not your fault."_

_"Yes, sir_", Goren had said. It had seemed the only appropriate response.

_"But she's an officer, and a damned good one. And she knows the risks. If she stays with her sister, she'll get coddled too much, and if she needs to talk about what happened, I don't think her sister will understand. But another cop will. So she's going to stay with you for the time being."_

_"With me?"_

_"Yep. It'll be good. For the both of you. You can tell her when you go to pick her up. God knows she'll be upset, but she'll get over it. Well, nice talking with you, Detective."_

He had hung up before Goren had a chance to respond.

And now here he was, taking her home with him.

She entered his apartment as if she had never set foot there before.

"You can take the bedroom. I'm used to sleeping on the couch", he said, making a line for the bedroom with her overnight bag.

"Okay", she replied, wandering over to the bookshelves, taking in the titles. She slid off her jacket, and draped it on a chair. They faced eachother. Silence filled the space between them.

"Dinner", Goren said. "You must be hungry."

"Sure", Eames replied. "I'm going to shower, I think. Hospital smell."

Goren nodded. "That's fine."

He went into the kitchen, and started rummaging around for food. Halfway through making the baked ziti, he realized he hadn't heard any movement from the bathroom. He padded down the hallway. He heard the shower running, and under the hum of the water hitting an empty tub, he heard Eames trying to stifle her sobs.

He put his head against the door, and listened for a long moment, feeling his own eyes start to well up. Then he went back to the kitchen.

* * *

Eames emerged in her pajamas, navy blue t shirt and blue sleep pants with tiny white polka dots and lace trim at the ankles. This casual, vulnerable woman startled Goren. Without her heels, she was even smaller than usual, far more fragile looking tonight.

"Pasta", he said, handing her a plate. "Quick and easy. And pretty good if I don't say so myself."

She smiled, and he followed her to the sofa, handing her the remote control.

"What do you watch", she asked.

"Whatever's on", he replied, taking a seat next to her. She tucked her feet up under her.

They settled on _Shane._ Goren found himself wrapped up in the movie, until he felt a tap on his arm.

Eames had dozed off, and in the process, landed on him. Her plate was on her knees, but was about to slide off onto the floor. As carefully as he could, he removed the plate. He studied her, looking for the best way not to wake her.

He slid his hands under her knees and shoulders, looping and arm around his neck. He hoisted her up, but she was no weight at all. Her head lolled onto his shoulder. He carried her to the bedroom, smiling at the million office gossips who had just punched the air but didn't know why.

He slid her under the covers as best as he could, tucking them up under her chin.

"Good night", he whispered.

And as he positioned the door so it remained open a crack, he heard her say good night to her dead husband.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two.

* * *

Chapter Two- Everything is Wonderful Now

Just a note- Passing Strange, by Joseph Citro, is a real book, one of my favorites. Being a New Englander, had to put a little hometown pride in my writing. :)

Okay, enough with my shameless plug.

* * *

Goren was awoken at some point by a scream. Instinct immediately kicked in. He grabbed his gun, and tore through his apartment, tossing open the door the the bedroom.

Eames was sitting up in bed, a look on her face as if she'd just seen a ghost. He holstered his weapon, and sat down with her.

"Eames, wake up." He took her shoulders. She was looking at him, but he got the distinct feeling she wasn't seeing him. "Alex", he tried.

She smiled, and closed her eyes, lying back down, out of his grasp.

He sighed. "Good night", he said.

* * *

She woke up to see sun streaming through the window and casting light on her partner, who was sitting in the chair in the corner, his feet propped up on the bed, his gun in his lap, snoring away. She threw a pillow at him, and he stirred immediately.

"What, what's wrong", he cried.

"I should be asking you the same question. Bobby, you don't have to stand guard over me."

"Yeah, well, you didn't hear the way you screamed last night." He left out the obvious. It had sounded as if she were being murdered.

"Oh... I'm sorry."

"S'okay. It's a pretty comfortable chair", he said, standing up and rubbing his face with his hands. "I've got to get ready for work. Ross is giving me about six months of back up filing to go over. You'll be alright here?"

"Sure. Don't be late."

He grabbed his clothes out of the drawers and closet, and she heard the shower start to run. She had a quick, wicked thought in her imagination, and then dismissed it.

Once he was gone, and the apartment was quiet, she emerged from the bedcovers, and began to explore. She saw his neat, Spartan dresser with his after shave and cologne. Issey Miyake. No wonder he smelled so good. She sprayed a bit on her wrist, and rubbed it in.

There was a plate with tie clips in it, mostly plain silver bars, a few with his initials neatly insribed, and a few NYPD and Army issues.

She was tempted to open a drawer, but she resisted, turning instead to the closet. There were all the suits she knew. Jeans, plaid shirts, plain shirts, trousers, dress shirts, and shoes covering the floor. There were boxes on the shelf marked 'Pictures', 'Mom', and 'Christmas'.

On the nightstand was his bedtime reading- _Passing Strange_, by Joseph Citro- ghost stories and folklore from New England. It was pretty beat up, so she figured it was a volume he returned to again and again.

She wandered out to the living room, which was covered on three sides by flat pack book shelves, which in turn were packed with books.

What the hell did he do in his off time, rob the Barnes and Noble?

She perused the titles a little more closely than she had the night before, until the smell of coffee lured her into the kitchen. She poured herself a cup, and returned to the books. She pulled out one that looked interesting, wrapping herself in the blanket on the sofa, and began flipping through. When she heard the phone ring, she jumped.

Goren had left the handset on the coffee table, and she reached for it. She recognized her sister's number on the caller ID.

"Hey", she said.

Kim laughed. "Detective Goren gave me the number on pain of death that I wouldn't share it with anyone, as he tells me you are resting. I just wanted to see how you were. How does it feel to be a kept woman?"

"I am fine. And I am not a 'kept' woman", Eames sighed. "Far from it."

"Really. So you're not in your pajamas, sleeping late, doing whatever you feel like while your devistatingly handsome and attentive partner waits on you hand and foot?"

"Making dinner is not waiting on me hand and foot. And what is dad thinking anyway, imposing on him like this?"

"No idea. He just told me this was a much better arrangement, and not to argue. It didn't seem like your partner was that put out by it."

Eames ignored the innuendo in her sister's comments. "He should have known better... Bobby's a little afraid of him."

"Who isn't? Look, Alex, I'm coming into the city later in the week, we'll have lunch, okay?"

"Alright."

"That is, if Detective Goren allows it. Or if you're not otherwise occupied."

"Good bye Kim."

"Bye."

Eames tossed the phone across the sofa, and went back to her book. Kept woman...

* * *

Goren kept tapping his pencil on the side of the desk, wishing that Eames were here to motivate him to push through this pile. He'd already managed to get out of half a days worth of paperwork by helping Jeffries with an interrogation earlier, but since then, he'd been a bona fide clock watcher.

"Detective Goren!"

He looked up from his tapping. Ross was beckoning from his office. Goren's stomach sank. He couldn't figure what he'd done now- he hadn't been anywhere long enough to piss anyone off.

Ross closed the door after he entered. "Have a seat. Tell me how Detective Eames is."

"She's... fine, Captain."

"And she's made her first appointment with Psych Services?"

Ross slid into his own chair, thinking that his detective looked lost without his little blonde partner.

"Tomorrow."

"And someone's going to make sure she gets there, right? Her parents, her brother, sister? I have to make full reports to the Brass."

Goren fidgeted in his chair. "Actually, Captain she's... um... staying with me."

Ross raised his eyebrows. "Okay... who's brilliant idea was that?"

"Her father's. He thinks staying with a cop will make things easier for her."

Ross sat back in his chair. He didn't want to argue with Bill Eames on anything. The guy had an old timer's reputation that was hard to ignore. He had friends in every precinct in every Borough, and Ross was sure that any plan the man had in mind had to have some practical outcome.

"Well", he said finally, "it's not my place to say where she spends her time off duty- and I'm sure Bill Eames thinks this arrangement will be... therapeutic. Just watch yourselves, okay? I'm not unconvinced that you couldn't use a trip to Psych after all this yourself."

Goren nodded, wanting desperately to be dismissed. "Okay." He stood to leave.

"Oh, and Detective- if either of you need anything, please remember, I am here to help."

"Yes, sir. I will remember that."

* * *

Eames had fallen asleep on the sofa, reading the novel she had selected from Goren's personal library. But her mind remained awake, alert.

In her dreams, she couldn't see anything, just vague shapes, becoming clearer, and then disappearing again. She heard hideous noises, screaming, and just then, a real noise, a clicking and turning of a key in a lock.

She stood up, totally awake now, grabbing first for a gun at her side which wasn't there, and then secondly for the remote control on the table, which she held, ready to fling at the intruder.

Which only happened to be Robert Goren, staring at her with mild surprise.

"It's just me", he said softly.

"Oh. Sorry." She put her arm down, relinquishing the projectile. "How was work?"

"Boring", he said, sliding off his jacket, but still not taking his eyes off of her, waiting for her to try to kill him with his own remote.

She was watching the portfolio that he had put down on the table next to the door, along with his keys.

"Anything new come up?"

He followed her gaze to the portfolio, and caught her drift. She wanted whatever notes she though he was hiding from her.

"Seriously, Eames, nothing. I helped out a little with a thing Jeffries had, and that was all. The next seven hours I spent playing solitaire and going over expense reports. I even dusted my desk. I ate a hot dog for lunch. I think Ross just wants to keep an eye on me in the office while you're not there."

"I should go back in. I'm really feeling fine. I'm not even sore anymore, and the cut..."

She reached up for her hairline, under her bangs. The memory shot back at both of them, how the gash had come to be there. She went past it, quickly. "Well, it's healing just fine."

"You've got your first therapy appointment tomorrow", he reminded her, thinking of Ross.

"I know", she said, nodding quickly,a nd pulling the blanket closer around her. "Look, I don't want to get in the way of whatever it is you do at night when you leave the office. I'm just going to sit and read."

He gave her the look, the one that said she was being ridiculous for even thinking she was intruding. Fact was, he liked the company, even if it was just another living person here when he got home. And of course, the fact that it was her made it even better. Even under the odd circumstances.

"You're not in the way, and if you want to read, read away. I'm going to make dinner."

"You don't have to go out of your way-"

"No, it's nice to be able to cook for someone. Means I won't get rusty."

She slid back onto the sofa, nodding as she took up her book. He watched her for a moment, and then disappeared into the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

Everything is Wonderful Now. Chapter 3

* * *

The night was quiet, although Goren slid into the chair in his bedroom again, if only to make himself feel better.

He had said that he was sorry, that day in the hospital, when she had been brought in, and he had stormed past doctors, nurses, orderlies, just to get to her. _Sorry, _he had said.

_Sorry for this happening to you, sorry for causing it, sorry for not paying attention, _that's what he didn't say.

Eames didn't seem to care that he had invaded the privacy of the bedroom, that he was sleeping at the end of the bed like a watchdog.

His dreams were of that underground hell they had found her in. She was lying on the floor, surrounded by demons, and he pushed his way through them, to discover that he was too late, that she was dead.

He awoke with a start. SHe was there, buried under the mass of covers, breathing softly.

Maybe Ross was right. Maybe he should talk to someone.

He watched her, for the sheer joy of watching her, fast asleep in his bed, in his apartment, where not one could get anywhere near her, in the sanctuary he had created for himself, and now extended to her. He contented himself with the idea that she was completely out of harms reach here. He tried not to think of her going back to her own place, out of his protection.

_If I wasn't wide awake and paying attention before, I am now_, he swore to her silently, settling back into his nightly vigil over her.

* * *

Eames woke to an empty apartment, and a gray and rainy day outside. She padded to the kitchen, and poured the coffee in the mug he had left out for her, along with a note that said, _I will pick you up at ten thirty for your appointment._

She crumpled the note, and headed to the sofa with her coffee. She flipped through the channels on the television a few times, and then shut it off, and listened for the oppressive silence.

She was alone, in this strange apartment. She listened to the distant traffic and bustle of the city. She felt afraid, and pulled the blanket over her completely, lying down. She dozed for a while, heard the phone ringing outside of her cocoon. She ignored it, drifting off again.

* * *

Goren kept dialing and redialing, driving like the madman Eames always claimed he was behind the wheel.

He ran up the stairs of his building two at a time, and burst into the apartment, ignoring the probability that he might get attacked by something.

What he heard was... nothing.

His heart stopped.

"Eames", he called. His imagination reached for every irrational possibility. He went into the living room, and saw the bundle on the sofa. He approached it carefully, his mind flashing to the bloody bundle in the trunk of Eames' car a few days before.

He pushed at what he thought might be an elbow, or a shoulder.

"Eames... I left you a note. It's time for your appointment."

There was a soft sound from beneath the blanket. "I'm not going."

He assesed the situation for a moment.

_Alright_, he thought, _approach number one- the gentle prodding. "_It will be good for you... talking to a professional will really help you... you'll be amazed at how much better you feel."

"Then why don't you go, if you think it's such a hot idea", the bundle shot back without missing a beat.

He tried to think of a response, but none came to mind.

_Okay, approach number two. The not so gentle one._

He reached down and grabbed the entire mass of Eames and blanket, tossing her unceremoniously over his shoulder.

"_Bobby_", she cried in a combination of surprise and anger, beating harmlessly with her fists.

"I'm sorry, but this is for your own good", he grumbled. "And for mine."

He walked into the bathroom, pulled the curtain back, and turned on the water. Then he dumped her on her feet in the shower stream, yanking away the blanket. She refused to look at him, bowing her head. He kept an eye on her hands, which were still balled into fists at her side.

"Listen to me", he said, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible, and failing miserably, "I know you're tired, and I know you're scared, and I know you don't want anyone to know. Fine, that's your thing. So let me make a bargain with you, okay? You don't have to go anywhere- you never have to leave this apartment again. You can become the strange woman who lives with Detective Goren- hell, it's not as if my reputation were on the upswing these days- and you can do it forever, if you like, no questions asked. Just promise me you will shower, and you will brush your teeth. Two very simple things.

I'm not asking the world of you, because I know you... you can't give it right now. And you're right, I would be kicking and screaming my way to Psych Services too, so I can't force you to do something I would be reluctant to do myself."

He was on the verge of tears now, he could feel them coming, feel his heart breaking. "Okay?"

He waited, and they stood there for a moment, the warm water bouncing off of her and splattering onto his shirt and jacket. Then, she slid her t shirt off and tossed it at him. He closed the curtain, gently, aware that the sound might upset her, before she finished her strip show, and turned to leave, with her shirt still in his hands.

"Wait", she whispered from behind the curtain. "Don't leave... just wait."

"Alright", he replied, just as softly.

Slowly, she began to move, reaching for the soap and the shampoo, standing the water, and reveling in the scents of Pert Plus and Irish Spring soap, how comforting, how typically male, how Goren they were.

She shut off the water. "Towel, please", she called.

A fluffy blue towel appeared over the curtain bar. She wrapped it around herself, and pulled back the curtain. He was still there, leaning in the doorway, his arms folded over his chest.

"Thank you", she said, not looking up at him, slipping past him.

He heard her shut the bedroom door.


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

Everything is Wonderful Now Chapter 4.

* * *

That afternoon, the call came, the one Goren wondered if he'd receive.

He should have known better.

He had called Psych Services, and rescheduled her appointment, and then knocked gently on the bedroom door. When there was no answer, he opened it.

She was curled up in his bathrobe, on the bed, her wet hair combed neatly, fast asleep. He left her there, and returned to the chair in the living room, letting the male part of his mind take over for a minute, thinking of her naked and wrapped in the green oversized terrycloth robe, the glimpse of skin he had seen at her neck and shoulder where the robe had slipped away, the legs peeking out of the folds, glimpses of white thighs.

To distract himself, he had called Ross to tell him he wouldn't be back at the office that day, and he dodged the questions with insubstantial answers. When he had finished that, he had tried to read, tried to watch television, and considered taking up drinking as a full time hobby until his cell phone rang.

"Bobby", cried the familiar voice. "How is everything? I've got to tell you, this is amazing."

Declan Gage never seemed to temper his responses. They were always at full speed, at full volume, all headed in one direction.

"What's amazing", Goren replied, and was immediately sorry he had asked.

"Jo! I mean, all those years of dismissing the possibilty of a woman serial killer, and here she is! I have spent the last two days just filling out my initial intake questionaire."

Goren felt the cring in his stomach. It was everything Jo Gage had wanted- to be the complete center of her father's world.

"That's interesting, Dec", Goren managed.

"Look, I think you should be in on this with me. You discovered her, after all. I want you to help me with the rest of the interview, and maybe the follow up study."

Goren remembered the last time he had 'interviewed' Jo. He had left the observation room after she had confessed, and they had arrested her. He had walked calmly past his colleagues, some of whom shied away, and some who tried to approach him. He ignored all the looks, all comments, and went directly into the men's room, where he had thrown up.

"I don't know", he said, glancing in the direction of the hallway towards the bedroom.

"C'mon, Bobby, it's the chance of a lifetime. And Bobby, I'm going to need a favor. I need to talk to Eames."

Now he was paying attention. "To Eames? Why?"

"She's Jo's only victim to survive."

"Yeah, that was by accident. No way. That's not a good idea."

"Can you at least ask her? Check with her? I'd ask her myself, but your captain says she's staying with family, and he didn't know where."

Goren chuckled at the thought of Ross and Declan on the phone. He could imagine the combination of irritation and pleasure Ross must have taken in dismissing the profiler and blocking any effort he might make at turning the case into his next big find.

"Look, you should at least come see Jo. I think she'd like to talk to you. And it will give you a chance to ask any of your own questions- any personal research you may want to do for future cases you might come across."

"I'll think about it", Goren said, before hanging up. He suddenly felt that same urge to be sick all over again.

* * *

Eames felt a little better by the next day. Her sister arrived for lunch as promised, and they went someplace close by.

"So, how's it going", were the first words out of Kim's mouth when Eames answered the door. She started poking around as Eames grabbed her purse.

"He's not here", she said. She had no idea what her sister's fascination with Bobby was, but she had to admit, it was amusing.

"I know."

"It's fine", Eames said, answering Kim's previous question. "C'mon, I'm starving."

"I thought he was cooking..."

"Kim-"

They lingered over lunch, and even managed to stop into a few of the little boutiques along the way back to Bobby's apartment.

As they reached the top of the stairs, Eames heard the phone ringing. She fumbled with the key, glancing at Kim.

"Okay, so he's probably checking in to see if I'm back yet. I had to give him a complete schedule of when and where and with whom I was going today. I think we were being followed by a detail."

She opened the door, and ran for the phone. Kim smiled as she watched her sister, and then heard the footsteps coming up behind her.

"Hello? Yes, this is Detective Eames..."

Kim turned to see Goren standing behind her. She stepped back to let him enter. "She thought that was you on the phone", she said pointing at her sister. "To check up on her."

"Well, it's not", Goren said, staring at his partner.

"No, he didn't say anything. Yes. Yes." Eames was staring back at him. "Okay. When? What time? I'll be there. Okay, good bye."

She hung up the phone. "That was Declan Gage", she said slowly. "He wants to talk to me about Jo. He said he asked you about it."

Goren looked at her as she approached him.

"I'm going to get going", Kim said, but didn't move. She wasn't sure what was going on. She lingered in the space behind Goren, watching the two of them.

"I didn't know what to tell you, or him for that matter. Eames, of all the professionals you want to sit down with, you want to talk to a criminal profiler? With Declan Gage?"

"Sure, why not? At least he gets it", Eames replied, nonchalantly.

Kim frowned, and jumped in, sensing Goren's immediate discomfort and alarm. "Maybe Detective Goren is right. Maybe this isn't the guy you want to talk to about what happened."

"It's Dec, Eames. I know this guy. The next thing he'll be asking is for you to sit down with Jo and go over everything that happened, bit by bit to get every last piece of information otu of you. He won't stop until he's picked your brain apart."

"Well, maybe that will be more helpful than you staying up all night watching over me with your gun in your hand preparing ti kill anyone who comes through the door!"

Kim knew the tone in her sister's voice, because it sounded just like their father's, whenever he got angry.

"Alex", she tried to say, but Goren interrupted her.

"Hey, I'm not the one who spent the past two days curled up in a ball! You are not in your right mind Eames! This affected you, okay? And I'm sorry, but it did! Something happened to you, something awful, and I am trying as best as I can to help you here! I am doing whatever I can think of to keep you safe! Telling you NOT to do this is one of those thing!"

"I'm going to talk to Gage! He gets crime, gets cops, so maybe he can help me figure out why I'm so afraid, help me figure out what happened, so I can get over it", she yelled back. "And you can't stop me from going, Bobby, so don't even try!"

"No, I sure as hell can't, but I am going with you!"

Kim looked from one to the other. Alex stared down her partner before turning and storming down the hallway. They both jumped when she slammed the bedroom door.

Goren threw himself onto the sofa, putting his head in his hands.

"Alright, fill me in", Kim said, gently. "I'm supposed to be reporting back to dad on all of this. Who is this Gage guy?"

"He was my mentor", Goren answered through his hands. "He's one of the FBI's top criminal profilers. It was his daughter who kidnapped your sister."

"And he called you?"

"Yesterday. Wanted to know where she was. I lied and said I didn't know. I didn't think he'd call here." He looked up at Kim. "I thought I was protecting her by not saying anything."

"Look, Detective, I don't know why Alex wants to meet with this guy, but if she thinks it will help, then you should let her. She didn't dismiss the idea of you being there, so you'll at least have some control over the situation."

Goren laughed, rubbing his face in his hands again. "You've never met Dec", he said, looking up at her.

Kim had been happily married for years, had two great kids, and yet there was something in Robert Goren's eyes taht would have made her give up everything for one moment with him. She couldn't understand how her sister managed to work with this guy and keep a straight head. Of course, she figured that after Joe, Alex might be a little reluctant to share with anyone that she had developed feelings for someone who was so very... not Joe.

She couldn't read her sister, however, she could read the look in Bobby Goren's eyes, and right now his feelings were like a flashing neon sign.

"No, I haven't", she agreed. "But I trust you, and I trust Alex. And by the way, my entire family trusts you too."

"Even your brother?"

She smiled. Chase Eames had always enjoyed giving Bobby a run for his money. "Yeah, even him."

Goren rubbed his five o'clock shadow. "I should have choked Dec to death when I had the chance", he grumbled.

"Do you want me to go and calm her down", she asked.

"No", he said, getting to his feet. "I pissed her off. She's my responsibility. But I will walk you to your car."

* * *

Eames heard the bedroom door open slowly.

"I'm not going to throw anything at you", she said.

"Good to know. I just walked your sister to her car, so there aren't any witnesses in case you want to hurt me."

She smiled into the pillow. "No, thanks."

"So" he started. "You really want to talk to Dec."

"Yeah, Bobby, I do."

He had thought of a million reasons to change her mind, but she seemed so certain about this.

"Alright", he said. "But I am coming with you."

She was silent for a long moment, and he braced himself for another argument. "Fine", she said, finally. "If that's what you want to do."

* * *

"She's going to do what?"

In spite of his cool exterior, Danny Ross had a great deal of affection for his detectives, but somedays, he really thought these particular two were insane.

"She thinks that having a criminal profiler's insight into her experience will help her come to terms with it like a cop", Goren tried to explain, even if he didn't believe it.

"If that's the case, why the hell doesn't she just talk to you."

Goren fumbled with his tie. "She doesn't want to talk to me. She wants to talk to Declan."

Ross shook his head. When that nut had called him, he had put up a brick wall, hoping that would deter him from even getting near Eames. He had thought wrong. And of all the people, he thought the man sitting in his office would have known better than to allow this to happen.

"He called me too, Captain", Goren said, reading Ross's mind. "I didn't tell him that she was with me, and I didn't tell him where he could reach her. It was by accident that he called my apartment and spoke to her. I tried everything to talk her out of it. She wouldn't listen."

Ross sighed. "So when is this happening?"

"This afternoon. I'm picking her up in a little while."

"This is wrong, on so many levels, Detective. You have seen what this guy is capable of. I am holding you personally responsible if she doesn't come out of this unscathed, if not worse."

"Yeah, I know. If I even get one hint that she's uncomfortable, we're leaving. Even if I have to carry her out of Riker's."

Ross nodded in agreement. "Call me if anything, and I mean, anything goes wrong. I'll have Gage locked up so fast..."

Goren smiled at Ross's daydream of putting Gage away, and at his particular concern for Eames. It reminded him of the uncomfortable chats he had had with Chase Eames at various family picnics. The ones that started, _"If anything happens to my sister, Goren..."_

"I'll be sure to do that", Goren said, clearing out of the office, not bothering to explain to the Captain what he would be doing to Dec if Eames even shivered during this impending disaster.


	5. Chapter 5

Everything is Wonderful Now, Chapt. 5

* * *

"Narration closes histories, narration heals; and for the Activist, histories must always remain open, like a wound."

-James Dawes, _The Language of War_ (2002)

* * *

Eames had felt her partner's eyes on her the entire ride out to Rikers, waiting for some crack in her facade. He had been in a supremely foul mood ever since he had picked her up, but he wasn't sharing.

She finally turned to him as they received their visitor's badges, and he was relinquishing his weapon.

"It's a prison, Bobby. I'm feeling pretty safe here."

"Okay", he replied quickly, clipping on his badge, and trying not to sound concerned.

The interview room was typical Rikers Island decor. Gage was setting up his tape recorder when he spied them at the door.

"Bobby! I am so glad you could come! This is going to be some work, some work, I tell you."

He grabbed Eames, hugged her quickly. "And you... Oh, you are the piece I am missing, the key to all my work!"

Eames just nodded, caught Goren rolling his eyes, and assumed that it wasn't the first time Gage had praised someone to that extent. She took the chair her partner pulled out of her.

Gage sat across from her, and started jotting down notes on a large legal pad.

"I'm going to start with your general health and appearance, less than a week after your ordeal. You're eating a healthy, steady diet?"

"Yes", she replied, clasping her hands in front of her.

"Good, good. Do you feel the need for alcohol? Any illegal substances?"

"No." She glanced over at Goren, but he was just shaking his head. This must have been like review class for him. She knew he could anticipate every question Gage was going to ask.

"Have you ever had a problem with controlled substances?"

"No."

"No", Gage repeated, writing it down. He pressed the record button on the tape recorder.

"Today is Thursday, September 15th. This is Declan Gage, and I am sitting with subject Alexandra Eames, Detective First Grade, Major Case Squad, New York City Police Department. Your father was also an officer, is that correct?"

"Yes."

Another notation.

"And for the record, I would like to state that Detective Eames' partner is Detective Robert Goren, a former student of mine. He is here to observe the proceedings." Gage grinned quickly at Goren.

"Yeah", Goren put in. "I'm here to make sure things don't get out of hand."

Gage ignored him, and Eames followed the older man's example.

"Now, Alexandra, I am going to ask you to relate to me what happened. Please feel free to add whatever you like, and by this I mean feelings, sensations, emotions, the like. Anything you saw, or felt, anything you noticed. You may begin...whenever."

Gage sat back in his chair. Eames sat up in hers, and began.

"It had been an especially long day. Two murders, in quick succession, with very little to tie them together, except for the cream, the method of... torture and death, and my partner's firm conviction that the murders had been committed by Sebastian.

"I went home around two a.m., went into the house. I was tired. I didn't even notice that the bird wasn't it's usual noisy self." She drifted off, remembering the bird.

"I walked through the door, resolved to leave the office at the office. My instincts didn't even kick in. I didn't notice anything strange until he-she was right there. And then I just felt pain."

Gage nodded. "And that was when your attacker hit you in the face with a tire iron?"

"Yes", Eames replied, looking Gage directly in the eyes. He nodded.

"Please, go on."

"I wasn't completely knocked out. Just stunned. My head hurt like hell, and I was trying to scream, or fight back. But I couldn't move. I knew I was being dragged to my car. Most of the bruises I sustained are from being dragged down the front steps."

Goren took a breath. Jo wasn't much bigger than Eames. The entire picture was forming in his head.

"What were you thinking at this time", Gage asked.

"When I was tossed in the trunk? I don't know... I was drifting in and out at that point. I knew I hadn't been killed immediately, that I was being taken somewhere. I was trying to assess the situation."

"So you were still thinking like a police officer?"

Eames nodded. "Yes, but that was fading. I was thinking of the case, of the Sebastian murders. I didn't think it could be possible... I don't know how long we drove around for. I was trying to listen for sounds- ocean sounds, water sounds, other cars, people, toll booth noises. Anything that might tell me where I was."

She glanced quickly at Goren. "I tried, really."

"When the trunk opened again, there was too much blood in my eyes from the wound on my head. It stung... I couldn't see a thing. I must have moaned, because my attacker realized I wasn't completely out cold. I was hit again."

She sat back in her chair. Goren stared at her, but she refused to look at him.

"What happened next?"

"Next... I came to, and my arms were killing me. My feet were barely touching the floor, and there was a gag in my mouth. At first I was confused, because I knew my eyes were open, but I couldn't see. Then I realized there was a blindfold around my eyes. It was loose, and I pulled it down a little, but all I could make out were hazy shapes. It wasn't dark, but it wasn't well lit, either. I heard screaming. A woman begging for her life, and I wanted to help her, but I couldn't... I couldn't...

"And then I heard the curtain. And then my phone started to ring. I knew it was Bobby... I didn't know what time it was, but I was sure it was late enough that someone would try to contact me. I pushed the blind back up. I didn't see anyone. But someone had picked up the phone."

"The gag was removed... and then I felt a sharp object running down my face, and I was... afraid. I also heard the phone being put up to me, and I wanted to scream. I would have screamed, but it was stuck in my throat. I wasn't brave... I was terrified..."

There was silence in the room for a moment. Goren leaned forward, putting his elbow on the table, focusing on Eames. She still didn't look at him. She had her eyes on her hands, still clasped neatly in front of her.

She was on a roll now, and she couldn't stop.

"I felt my arms being cut, I felt the knife being run down my skin, the shears shoved in and opened... and then that other woman, she was screaming again. And then she didn't scream anymore."

"I passed out from the concussion, I'm sure. When I awoke, I had the strange sensation that I was alone. And I pulled the blindfold down. No one was around. I knew I was underground, in some sort of basement. I looked up, saw the hook, and started turning, trying to unscrew it."

"I was panicking. I knew my kidnapper could come back. When the hook gave way, it surprised me. My legs had gone numb. I fell, and I just wanted to lay there, lay there and die..."

Goren thought he was about to die at this point. He felt sick, but he couldn't move. Gage was completely enthralled.

"Were there any specific smells, anything about the room, the workspace, that you remember?"

"I pulled back the curtain", Eames continued. "All I saw were teh table and the tools, and everything was soaked in blood... so much blood."

Goren put his hand on her arm. She pulled away quickly, as if he'd struck her. He looked up to see that Gage had noticed the reaction, and was jotting it down.

"The woman I heard screaming wasn't there. I ran. I ran for the door. I don't even remember using the light socket to open the electric lock. I took the hook with me, figuring that if I was going to run into my attacker, I had better be able to fight back. I finally found the door to the stairs... when I opened it, and saw that it had been walled off... I thought I was going insane. I knew there had to be another way out. I saw the light, coming from the window. I climbed up, and stretched out my arm. I had no idea where I was, or if the only person who would hear me might be... I didn't care. Then I heard a dog barking, and then I was falling... I hit the floor pretty quickly."

She sat back, almost out of breath. "And that was all. There was the sound of jackhammers, and someone yelling my name, and then... I don't know. I was on a gurney."

Gage looked at Goren. "Bobby, do you have anything to add?"

Goren shook his head. Eames still hadn't taken her eyes off of her hands.

The senior profiler looked back at Eames. "Were you thinking of anything else at that point? Was there an overwhelming feeling that you remember having during the entire experience? Pain? Violence? Fear? Despair?"

"No", she answered, quietly.

"Are you sure? Usually the hiller has one emotion that they hold on to. I'd like ti know what a victim's last emotion might be, perhaps something the killer is trying to bring out-"

Eames drew in a sharp breath. Goren tapped the table, lightly.

"Enugh, Dec."

"It's important", Gage said, ignoring Goren. She looked from her hands to Gage.

"Selfish. I was thinking how selfish..."

"Who? The killer? Yourself?"

She shook her head. "No." She looked at Goren for the first time. "Why you didn't come. Why you hadn't found me. Where were you?"

Her eyes were wet, and tears were streaming down her face. She was trying to brush them away with the back of her hand. Goren stared at her, and then looked over at Gage, who looked as if he had just caught the Loch Ness Monster.

"You were waiting for Bobby?" His pen was going a million miles a minute.

"All the effort you put into finding Sebastian, and you... I thought you would come, and I..."

"Alright", Goren said, starting to stand. "This is over."

"No, Bobby, this is finally getting somewhere", Gage said, putting out his hand. "Alexandra, you felt abandoned- by your partner? By the one person you'd been conditioned to trust with your life."

She nodded. She looked up at Goren. "I did. I thought I was going to die...I though, of all the things, from the moment I was in that trunk, was that if I had an advantage over this, it would be that I had you."

Goren slid back down into his chair.

"Excellent, excellent..."

"Stop it, Dec", Goren said.

"No, don't you see, this fits with what Jo and I were discussing this morning- the abandonment she felt in her childhood... She knows you're both here. She agrees that it would be helpful to have you and her come together, in order to be interviewed in tandem. Quite a once in a lifetime sort of thing-"

"NO", Goren roared, standing, and pulling Eames out of her chair, taking her by the shoulders. "Haven't you had enough", he asked her.

"I think that would be the logical next step in this process", Eames said to Gage. She looked up at Goren. "Let's go see Jo."

She tried to move, but Goren held on to her. "Don't do this to yourself."

"No, Bobby", Gage cut in. "This is perfect. A real dialogue between victim and potential killer. Can you imagine...?"

Goren ignored him, still staring at Eames. "Look, I screwed up, okay? I refused to see what was in front of me, and you're the one who has to suffer. I know that. You've been profiled now, your experience has been documented and will shortly be dissected bit by bit. It's what you wanted." He looked at Gage. "So tell her what your findings are as of this moment."

Gage looked a little flabbergasted. "You know I won't be able to do that until I'm done with Jo. In this case, the experience of the killer and the victim are interrelated-"

"Yeah, I know. But I think you still owe it to explain it to Eames. This isn't therapy, it's deconstruction." He looked at Gage. "Help me out here, Dec", he pleaded. "For once, can you please, help me out?"

"You can do this as well as I can, Bobby. You know that."

"Yeah", Goren replied, looking back to the eyes of his partner. "But she didn't come here to hear it from me."

Gage sighed, and put down his notebook. "Alexandra, you've had a terrible experience. Your narrative is going to give me more insight into the nature of the victim, and the motivation of the killer. In this case, the particulars in regards to you are that she was trying to hurt Bobby. What you may not want to face, due to the male dominated field you work in, and your role in your family unit, is that you are the archetype for the damsel in distress in this situation."

Eames opened her mouth to protest, but Gage continued. "You don't play it, far from it, of course. But you embody it for others. Jo recognized it, knew what it would trigger in Bobby. And your own disappointment with his faiure to find you- rescue you- makes it a very convincing case."

"What about your own culpability", Goren asked softly. "What about Jo's anger with her invisible role in your life, your abandonment?"

Gage shrugged. "Then why didn't she just frame me for the second or third murder? I mean, the kidnapping of an NYPD Detective is more engrossing, but really, kidnapping your partner had less to do with me, and everything to do with you, and your reaction to her disappearance."

Eames' mouth had gone dry. "Thank you, Dr. Gage", she managed. "I don't think I can do your other interview today."

She looked up at Goren. "I want to leave. Now. I'm done."

"Yeah", he agreed, guiding her from the room.


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

Everything is Wonderful Now Chapt. 6

Thanks esp. to Mabsy for being my beta- It's a better chapter because of her! :)

All of your kind reviews are appreciated, I appreciate the feedback, always.

* * *

Goren stopped for Chinese take out on the way back from the prison. He was in no mood, nor of any mind, to cook.

Now, they ate in silence, sitting on the floor around the coffee table. He was on his knees, and Eames had propped herself up on a few pillows. She tried very hard not to meet his eyes. She succeeded pretty well. He was a glutton for punishment, however, and kept staring at her, waiting for her to say something. Anything.

She was completely uncooperative, focusing all of her attention on the television.

Frustrated, he got up, and took the plates to the sink. When he returned to the living room, he discovered tht she had taken his absence as a chance to make her escape. He heard the soft click of the bedroom door.

Goren was tired now, tired of silence, tired of space. He was certain she thought she was done for the day, but he wasn't ready to let her go just yet. He went towards his bedroom, making deliberate steps so that she would hear him coming.

_Forewarned is forearmed, Eames._

She had heard him. She wasn't trying to avoid him, she just wasn't sure she watned to face him head on. She could sense that he was on the verge of saying something, to try to fill the silence with a continuation of what had happened at Rikers. She always knew when he was ready to pull someone apart. She knew now that he was doing all he could to hold back from taking her down.

The door opened. She held her breath, lying on the bed, on her side, away from him, hoping, just hoping, that he would think she was sleeping, that he would leave her alone, just for a while.

Fat chance.

"How are you feeling", he asked.

"Since Gage informed us that we are completely responsible for what happened, and that he had nothing to do with it? Oh, just fine."

_Please, go away, Bobby. Let it die a happy death._

He smiled at her. "Good. Because Ross was really upset that you'd even considered talking to Dec… and he blames me for the fact that you even wanted to."

"Damsel in distress… he is so full of it."

She still didn't turn to him. She was surprised that he reamined in the doorway, that he didn't come in. Fine, if he wanted to stick his finger in the wound a little more, that was his problem. She would test him, let him, see how far he would actually go before he gave ground.

"Bobby, tell me what happened, afterwards."

"After what?"

"When you interrogated Jo. Tell me what you did."

He took in a breath. "Eames-."

"No", she said, cutting him off. "I want to hear it. From you."

There was no reply, and no noise, and she wondered if she had succeeded in frightening him off, back to the living room and the relative safety of the television. Then she heard the sounds- shoes being removed, another weight on the mattress, and a body behind hers. He brushed her shoulder lightly with one hand, trailing unti it came to rest on her waist. The other he put above her head.

She felt his fingers absent mindedly playing with her hair. She tried to think of Joe, tried to think of herself as 'married', and she failed, just giving in to the lovely feeling of his hands on her.

When she didn't protest, he slid his arm around her, encircling her completely. She felt his breath next to her cheek, and she took the liberty of putting her hand over his, aware of the difference in size.

"I…. I asked have her come in, knowing that she wanted to be there, not for him, but to watch him squirm, to watch him be arrested. But I also knew that she had some deeper purpose, that she wanted to be caught. I told her not to worry, that he wasn't going to confess, because he hadn't done it, and while she played relief surprisingly well, it was all just there, below the surface.

"I told her I was sorry that I hadn't paid attention to her either, and I hadn't. Maybe if I had opened my eyes…"

He was still playing with that one lock of hair, and now his fingers brushed the cut on her head. It was a gentle, intimate brush.

"Keep going", she commanded, trying to fight whatever emotions were warring within her.

"I told her my theory. I commiserated with her. I told her that I thought maybe a woman had committed these crimes. I saw the look of excitement in her face. She jumped in, pretty eagerly. I told her how Declan had called me an imbecile when I'd mentioned it to him."

Eames closed her eyes, putting herself intot he observation room with him and Jo, standing in the corner, watching him.

"Then what happened?"

"Then she slipped. I had lured her into such a sense of comfort that she didn't even realize she was confessing. She set up the murders just to get his attention. I told her that there had been hesitation marks on the first victim, and she said, 'were there? It all happened so fast.' Her face distorted into someone I had never seen before, then, once I had the confession out of her, her neat façade slipped away, and all that was there was the serial killer that her father had created. I told her it was time to go. She didn't even struggle. She begged me to tell Dec everything."

He felt her hands gripping his. "Are you okay? Is this what you wanted?"

She nodded.

He let go of her for a moment, removing his holster and placing it on the bedside table. Tehn he pulled her back to him. She was shaking now, and it took him a second to realize that she was crying, but trying to hold back. She turned in his arms, burying her face in his shirt. He felt her warm tears soaking through the fabric.

He went to embrace her again, but she put up her fists, smashing him in the chest. She had a nasty left hook, and he only nearly missed blocking it. He held up his hands, waiting for the next throttle. She beat on his shoulders, and he reached out and grabbed her hands, pinning them behind her. She looked up at him, and gave a half hearted struggle.

A million thoughts crossed his mind at that moment. He didn't act on any of them.

She stopped struggling, and he released her arms. She curled into him, laying her head near his shoulder. He wound his arms around her, and she didn't resist.

"Sleep", he whispered into her ear. "It's safe now."

He felt her open palms on his chest, and then her entire body simply relaxed into his. Feeling protected for the first time in forever, she slept.

She did not dream.

He lay awake for a very long time, holding her in the dark, listening to every heartbeat, and every outside noise coming from the street. Finally, her even breathing lulled him away.


	7. Chapter 7

Everything is Wonderful Now, Chapter 7

* * *

Alex felt warm.

A little too warm, too wrapped up, too comfortable. She opened her eyes, and saw Goren's neck, the hair on his chest, and felt his beating heart below her hand. He was completely wrapped around her, one arm across her back, and the other wrapped around her waist. His hand was resting gently on her bottom, and she smiled, thinking about how mortified he'd be if he were actually aware of the liberty he was taking in his sleep.

She shuffled a little bit, but he didn't move. Instead, he pulled her closer in his sleep, and his errant hand took a firm hold on her butt.

Okay, maybe he wouldn't be as mortified as she would have liked to think.

She hated to wake him. Sleep was such a foreign concept to Robert Goren, she wanted him to explore a little more… and the feeling of being held by a man was something she'd like to explore for a little while longer. She was overly warm, and she only wanted to get up, get a glass of water, and try to return to the oblivion in his arms.

Thank God no one could hear her brain at four a.m.

She finally managed to slide out from his grasp, and she padded to the window. The street lights were still burning, there was no one on the street, and for a moment she let her imagination get away… They were the last people on earth, no more Jo, no more Declan, no more murders, no more mysteries, just them.

Then a car flew by, and she returned to her senses, and went to get her glass of water.

When she returned, she allowed herself to watch him for a long moment. He was stretched out on the bed, his arms loosely draped where she was supposed to fit. He was snoring lightly. The next time they were sitting in an interrogation and he was on the verge of breaking down the next perp, she would remember this image, his face softened, his stocking feet, his shirt rumpled and slightly un tucked where she must have pulled at it.

She regretted trying to hit him, but she had wanted to, wanted to beat the hell out of him so badly for that one moment. She felt a little guilty for that, but she had needed to put the whole damned incident into some sort of physical release. And if it couldn't be one physical release, well, it would have to be the other.

"Eames", Goren whispered groggily. His eyes had opened a little, he was watching her. She hadn't even noticed, and the sound of his voice made her jump just a little.

"I'm right here", she said, climbing onto the bed next to him. He held out his hands, and she slid back into his arms. He folded her back into his embrace.

"Bobby", she whispered. When he didn't respond, and she realized he was already back to sleep, she started to speak.

_"Help me... I need your help... I'm lost... I was afraid, and I'm still afraid, and you're the only one I think who gets it, but I couldn't tell you that to your face, because I have to uphold whatever dignity I think I have left, because I can't bear to see the look you'd give me, and there's no one else and so all I can do is lie here and pretend I'm comforting you instead."_

She said it so fast that she barely understood herself. She nuzzled a little closer to him, tried to melt into him. She was glad he couldn't hear her. She tried to pretend he was Joe, but that trick didn't work, because he _obviously _wasn't, and she was glad that he wasn't. She felt a pang of guilt, but she shoved it away.

_So close, and yet so far away_.


	8. Epilogue

Epilogue Everything is Wonderful Now

I purposely made the conversation with Goren and Eames a little vague. I might continue this train of thought in some other stories, or I might just leave it, depending on how I feel.

Thanks to Mabsy for being my second set of eyes- It helped me to see this epilogue in a different light, and the notes helped to clarify stuff I would have totally missed. You rock- now finish IAB please!! :)

* * *

Two days later, Alex Eames went back to her own place. Goren drove her, walked through the new door frame first, and made sure that all the windows were locked, and the door was secure before he left. She watched him circle her block a few times before finally leaving the neighborhood. During the first few evenings, she could swear he had parked across from the house, but she couldn't bring herself to go out and tell him to go away.

They didn't say a word about what had happened between them.

She returned to desk duty part time, with Ross's reluctant blessing. And two days a week, at nine a.m., Goren picked her up, took her to the NYPD approved psychologist, and waited patiently for her.

Which is where he found himself today.

Eames opened the door and slid out. He came directly to attention.

"How'd it go?"

"Fine. Only three more sessions."

"I can drop you off…" He fidgeted a little. "A call came in."

"Well, let's go."

He gave her the silent pleading look.

"What? I told her I wasn't getting any better by myself", she argued, jerking her thumb at the therapist's door. The look on his face spoke volumes. She ignored all it.

He held up the keys to her. She snatched them, and he held up his hands in mock surrender.

They slid into the car, and sat in silence for a moment. She couldn't remember the last time she was behind the wheel and Goren was in the passenger seat.

"You didn't tell her, did you", he said.

"No", she replied, starting the engine. "And I'm not going to, either, Bobby. It's none of their business. It's ours."

"Oh, okay."

They drove a few more blocks in silence, and then she said, "Declan Gage called him. He wanted me to meet with Jo."

"And what did you say?"

"I told him I couldn't do it."

Goren let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God."

"Can we move on now", Eames said with a hint of irritation in her voice.

"Yes", he replied as convincingly as he could, even though to his ears he sounded like a liar. "We can."


End file.
